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Tag Archives: silly

I saw myself represented as a dot on a graph and not unflatteringly.

Headlines

Ungrateful Little Bastards Report College is ‘Alright’

Bee and Allergic Man Killed in Murder Suicide Pact

Upwardly Mobile Dog Seeks Less Homeless Owner

Wrecking Ball Operator Wins Big in Slamming of Abandoned Pog Factory

Some were originally printed in the Heuristic Squelch

P-Day

Presidents’ day was inaugurated in 1880 as a whole extra day for, and experienced exclusively by, the President. During this day he could spend his time as he wished in leisure or just catching up on errands without having to worry about the forward arrow of time generating events that would effect the rest of [...]

Now and Laters were a candy originally introduced in 1862 under the brand name “Henceforths”.

I need to stop buying hardcover books for my kindle.

Sketch in Progress

This is a sketch I’m currently working on to be performed at a time and location as of yet undetermined.
So both of you are test subjects for our new truth serum?
A: Yes  B: No
You’re not both here for the serum experiment?
A: No B: Yes
Are you here for the experiment?
A: Yes
B: No, he’s not
Are you calling [...]

wildlife study

Insider Secrets of the Circus

The clown car trick is accomplished through brute force
Tight rope walkers make the best drunk drivers
Traitors are shot from a cannon into a gaping lion
You can only become the fattest man in the world by eating your predecessor
Every full moon the gypsies gather to steal hubcaps

There are worse things than canned food. Like canned laughter or fresh bodies.

Nevermind: a micro sketch

A room with the living room furniture of the working class. Andy is thin and well dressed, his stocky father, Leo, sits, both hairy arms crossed over his chest, next to Andy’s worried looking mother, Helen.
Andy: Mom, Dad, there’s something I’ve needed to tell you for a long time- jeez this is hard- and you [...]

Doctor: I’ll have to listen to your heart.
Patient: It’ll just say “quit the job and burn down the building.”

LSD can profoundly affect the way that one looks at psychedelic posters.