Clever Things to Say » dark humor

Miles K — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 16:45:58 +0000

If animals started talking we’d have to kill them even faster.

Miles K — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 15:32:39 +0000

The other day I turned a fly into a “crawl”‘ and then I turned it into a “doesn’t go anywhere at all because it’s legs and wings have all been ripped off.”

Unpleasant facts which must be faced

Miles K — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 15:46:26 +0000

“The Taming of the Shrew” was originally titled “The Murdering of the Shrew.”

The Giant Panda is named ironically as it stands at only two and a half feet.

No one ever escapes Fantasy Island.

Once they reach a certain age strippers are taken out back and turned into flight attendants.

Most road trips end at the same time as the friendship in question.

Google would like a sample of your DNA.

Cooked food was discovered accidentally by cavemen looking for a more amusing to slaughter an animal.

Austin, Texas is most well known for being in the wrong state.

Due to rising population and obesity, human beings will eventually cover the entire surface of the earth at which point they will fuse together and form the fleshy topsoil layer which was the earth’s master plan all along.

Chairs are a domesticated species of rock.

Miles K — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 23:46:32 +0000

Letting go of my anger would be like letting go of the rungs on a ladder.

Miles K — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 17:05:30 +0000

I just found out my beard has cancer which means the rest of me is going to fall off.