Clever Things to Say

As kids we hope that every Christmas gift is a toy and not an article of clothing. As we grow older, toys get phased out and replaced with socks, scarves and sweaters. I still open my gifts hoping for toys and the resulting disappointment: that’s adulthood.

The children on Wall Street just play robbers.

One man’s trash is another man’s baby.

I’m against the practice of abortion. I just think you should get it right the first time.

Religious households are those in which children are told, “you’ll thank us when you’re dead.”