Clever Things to Say

The road less travelled has become rather crowded of late.

It’s often easiest to bury the hatchet along with the other party.

Every time I upload a new picture to Facebook I seem to be thinking, “this’ll show her.”

The walls in my house are so thin I can hear the neighbors not having sex.

They say some people internalize everything. For those who do not, I suggest you’re missing a step.

Looking back on high school I’m glad I was never there.

I try to be energy conscious and turn the lights off every time I leave a room. Some people take it personally.

Let’s agree to call a spade a racial epithet.

I don’t usually like to read the New York Times at home because there’s no one around to see me do it.